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Oscar De La Hoya Caught Wearing Britney Spears' Underwear
by Paul Lander   

After seeing the photos of  Golden Boy Oscar De La Hoya in fishnets and silk panties , Pop Dive Britney Spears told reporters four years ago, “So that’s what happened to my undies?!”  Spears added: “I was really truly shocked.”  A reporter asked: “That a former Boxing Champ was actually wearing your unmentionables?”  “No,” Spears responded, “That he had the legs to carry it off.”

At the time, a De La Hoya representative issued a written response: “Oscar denies those pictures are anything but doctored and, therefore, he could not be in possession of Ms. Spears personal items.” 

In a recent written apology to Spears, De La Hoya came clean. “I apologize to Ms. Spears. As part of my continuing recovery from Alcohol and Drug abuse, I am sorry for any harm caused to Ms. Spears.  I will be returning her items and only ask one favor.  Britney, where did you get that sequined bustier and those ten-inch hooker heels you wore at the VMA Awards?  I bought a blouse and Leopard Print Jeggings that I’d kill to wear with them.” 

In a related story, De La Hoya’s reps announced that the former Champ planes to join the touring cast of the musical “Hair Spray” in the part of Dame Edna.

Paul Lander is Sr. Pop Culture Correspondent for Slurve and Producer of XM/Sirius’s “Hey, Get Off My Lawn.”

 
Slurve Magazine (c) 2010

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